15 ottobre 2008

The path of rejuvenation

N. Araki



When my Sir doesn't speak any word, time is just stopped and then restarted with a bump. He looks, really looks, through me. He drives my current explorations in specific feelings.

I know I have been writing on and off about ecstatic practices, which include things like pleasure and pain, tease and denial, ordeal and flagellation, obedience and so on; all things that tell rather well about kink.

I have worked with my D/s relationship in its development and the practice has been intensely intertwined with my work. I have got to expanding and understanding of what it means to manifest my power.

Michael has trained my inner energy from where I properly thought, getting myself into influences about whether it’s possible for a sub to recognize virtue. Something which I always need to claim in order to become a real whole woman.

I’ve had a hard time understanding how BDSM intersects spirituality, and specifically how D/s is not only a path of service where I am capable in my own rights, but the path of my faiths too. I understand how feel “God” when Michael experiences myself as a fully open world of possibilities. I find that there’s a subspace all around me, in the sense that BDSM tides up limits. It is a ritual and a lifestyle which is always a teaching.

Feelings fly and emotions touch some sort of divine essence.

My Sir alters my state to give me a new focus state of being. He leads me to reinterpret previous spiritual knowledge.

Sexuality, for us a basic part of BDSM, guides body to spirit is some kind of intense bliss. Every sex act become an ecstatic goal, a break up to top. To top from the floor I grew emotionally, spiritually and in special way mentally. I embody some archetypes that come back to me and remember who I really am.

I rise from the bottom of the dark, through humiliation, whipping or bondage, through Him and His mind.

So fucking is not more merely fucking.

My Sir directs me to provide each time a bond to my surrender.

Internally it means something complex. I’ve to analyze and try to work with it, whit where it comes from. I know that at each level I look forward, I become more alive.

Since a sense of loss has overwhelmed me, I’ve nevermore searched other.

I breathe soul to soul with Michael and truly idolize completeness. A feeling of love so intense.

Under Michael guidance I continue to visit areas of my psyche yet unused. His control has no limitations. All inhibitions drop and all feelings of restriction go. Nothing is taboo.

If in the past I was been out of control and was been swept along in a sea of carnality, I know, currently these things obsessive come back with no balance and burn themselves out.

I have come into a big realization standing along in the farness of Japan watching the intensely neon lights. Deity is running into me. Rekindling me.

Sex and spirituality are become one. I understand my path like a path of sacred rejuvenation.

When my Sir explores my body seeking out every mark, time disappears, my need to hide a bit embraces me, extends and extinguishes itself. At the end there is nothing I can't feel or do. Nothing is obscene in such a love.

Michael and I become one thing and one being. Every act open us the way for all that follows and we arrive knowing an inner peace. An acceptance of self.

The virtue says us that we are our reason.